Living in memories

Today morning while driving to work I was listening a song from a hindi CD that I bought from a desi store. The song was Salam E Ishq title track and it bought back memories of this movie and how I had gone with my college friends (atleast 10 of us) and how much fun we had. The movie was not worth the watch but still that show is memorable and with that song the 40 min drive through heavy traffic and Detroit roads (believe me there are pot holes here too) became a pleasant walk on the beach.

It forced me to think do we actually live in memories?? Or is it just me? There are things that remind you of your past some are pleasant while some make you feel when or if the past will fade away. Unfortunately past never fades, its out there always. It only takes a song or a place or any other sign to bring back those feelings pleasant or otherwise.

So what about the present? We spend so many minutes or may be hours in a day thinking about yesterday. At least I do. Are we spoiling today by dreaming about yesterday? I don’t think so. I am sure I will have some nice and some not so memory of today that I will be reminded of few years down the line.

This reminds me of a dialogue from a movie called Liberty Heights. Its was something like – “Life is made up of a few big moments, and a lot of little ones. I still remember the first time I kissed Sylvia, or the last time I hugged my father before he died. And I still remember that white-bread sandwich and that blonde dancing girl with the cigarette pack on her thigh. But a lot of images fade, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get them back. I had a relative once who said that if I knew things would no longer be, I would have tried to remember better”

Delhi: A city where a horn could mean a polite “F.O” to a little rude “gun shot”

Driving on the roads of Delhi you realize one thing that India is not happy. We, as a nation, might be running on the road to prosperity but spend 5 minutes in Delhi traffic and you will wonder either that road to prosperity is media hyped or the road is a lot more bumpy. What’s worse is it injects in the people some sort of venom that comes out in full flow when they are out on the roads trying to fight their way to hell or wherever.

It seems like people while leaving home decide on the traffic rules. In case Mr. X is getting late he is entitled to jump red lights, cut people across lanes and most importantly has the license to curse anyone and everyone who tries to come in between him and his final destination. In case you are from Delhi or any other big metro city for that matter have you ever crossed a happy face in the traffic?

You know the funniest thing is that its not that people don’t want to smile. I tried this experiment while stuck in the peak office hours a few days back. I smiled at everyone who crossed me and to my utter surprise I got around 80 per cent response. That is people smiled back. So why is it that people are normally so stressed out while driving?

I think we tend to associate smile with weakness especially when it comes to holding your space in traffic. Aggression is the key to save five minutes of your travel time. What people do not understand that if everyone had a little more patience and did not try to be the first one in everything, traffic would be much smoother. I wonder if we can all take an oath that for one day everyone will follow traffic rules, be patient, not try to cut others and WILL NOT HONK. I think we can solve at least 30 per cent of our traffic problems in just one day of smooth traffic.
I used to be among the impatient drivers but I have learnt a lot of things over the last one year. I hope we all can change. For India to reach the stature of a Super Power in every aspect we need to change our attitude most importantly attitude towards each other. May be roads are a good place to start the change?

Remember to pass a smile to someone you cross while driving. It might start a chain reaction.

India can be a happy nation too.

Moving back to Home from ……home

One of the most amazing things about my journey from Delhi to Detroit and then back was the two set of emotions that I had to go through. One while I was moving to Detroit and the other when I came back to Delhi. Now that I think about these two different emotions I realize how similar they were. How can I ever forget the tears while entering the Indra Gandhi International Airport, bidding good byes to my beloved family and friends. At that time I had to plans of returning back so soon. I was only grappling with one question – WHY THE HELL WAS I LEAVING INDIA? I would have to start a new life there. I didn't know anyone there. I had no clue how many professional life would unfold. The people who know me can vouch for the fact that I energize myself by interacting with family and friends. How will I make new friends there?

1 year later

…..The only question I had in mind while boarding the flight back to Delhi was – WHY THE HELL WAS I LEAVING DETROIT? As it turned out a year in Detroit has turned it into my new home. My new friends were my family as well. I will never have to thing twice before concluding that my one year in US was one of the best chapters of my life. But since it was not a book but a chapter it had to come to an end. The characters in the chapter will tag along with me as I write the book of my life. So how was it to move back? It was a mixture of feelings. I was happy and sad, excited and sullen. Something I have never felt before. I guess that's how one feels when you move from one home to another….

Asit

Delhi – Mumbai – Detroit - Delhi

The Moment of Truth

Lately a lot of debate has been happening on the yet another imported series called “Sach Ka Samna”. Now this particular reality show has created ripples across the globe. It is one of the most controversial show ever. Several countries have actually banned the show after just a few episodes. All this just cause this show brings out the truth??
Now this blog is not to discuss whether this show should be allowed in India or not? That debate was very aptly settled by a Delhi High Court Judge. The ruling was something like this: "Our culture is not so fragile that it would be affected by one TV program. If someone does not want to watch the show they can change the channel"
This write up is more to do with the fact that no matter how simple a life you live you also have several dark secrets which if revealed (for money or otherwise) could shatter your life. I was astonished to see common man/woman coming on the show and revealing such facts about their lives that were hard to believe but they were true. I think, like me, most of the people watching the show wonder how could anyone go there even if for the money and open the book of their past. Some of the truths are so disturbing that they would not even acknowledge them in the privacy of their minds.
That brings me to another interesting observation. When I am watching the show, I don’t know how many times I wonder that I will never go on this show. No matter what the prize be. Now, come on am sure even you guys would agree with me on this. And I have asked this question to several people and all of them say are you crazy??
The point I am trying to make through all this is that no one is a saint. Then why do we act good? We all have committed sins/deeds that we are not proud of. Then why do we judge others when they accept those things or when we get to know that they have done the same thing or something similar. When deep down within us we know that we must have done the same damn thing or something equally bad or at times even worse. Next time when you watch Sach Ka Samna, try to answer the questions yourself as well, thinking you are sitting on the hot seat. Try to be a little flexible while answering the questions. Since those questions are made keeping the contestant in mind. So look for situations similar to the questions and answer then. Obviously I am not asking you to tell those answers to someone. If you are planning to do that, kindly apply to the show at least make some money from it. Anyway, once you have answered those questions. See how many times you will go “OH MY GOD, THIS GUY IS CRAZY”. I think a lot of times it will be sigh of relieve that you are not there.
I wonder why I still get astonished when people tell the truth on the show. May be I am just envious of their guts. Even though they have a chance to win a lot of money by doing so. But if that was reason enough I would be sitting there as well. I guess there are certain truths that should travel with you to your grave.
If I have some secrets of mine so do my loved ones.
Let’s maintain a status quo on this one.

Junglebook, Mahabharata, Alloo prantha and a game of cricket…..

The other day I was sitting with my friends and we were having beer and listening to music on youtube. Suddenly one of my friends mentioned about a song that used to come on Doordarshan when we were kids. It was called “Ek Chidiya Anek Chidiya”. Thanks to youtube, we were able to find that song and we saw it all over again. Everyone was quiet and watching it, each one taken to his own childhood. I am sure we all got nostalgic.

And suddenly within minutes I was shipped to the “Doordarshan Era”. The time when Chitrahar was awaited for the entire week, even though it was merely on for 30 min and just had hindi movie songs. But such was the charm of TV and the programs then. Even something like Saptahiki (Weekly TV guide) had a cult following. Who can forget the Malgudi days?
It made me think, where had that charm vanished now? Why don’t I get excited about watching something as simple as movie music on TV? I decided to stop thinking about it then in order to continue enjoying my beer. However, I did make mental note of it and decided to think about it when I was on my own.

So here I am on a Saturday evening sipping yet another beer and writing this. I am thinking about a typical Sunday I used to have when I was in school. Sunday mornings were all about the Junglebook, Mahabharata, Alloo Parantha and a game of cricket. That was the time when I used to look forward to Sundays. It was a family day and a friends’ day. There was something special about each Sunday though most of the activities were the same.

I think as the time passed apart from age there was something else that took the charm from the ever green Sundays. I think as we started having more options. With each new option we moved away from the basics.

To be continued….

Death of super heroes

I would like to put the topic in context in the beginning itself. This is not about Superman or Spiderman or any other man who can fly, save the world or wear his undergarment over the trousers.

It is about this thought that was brewing in mind over several days now. I finally decided to pen it down. It’s a theory that goes something like:

As you grow old the number of superheroes in your life decline.

Now you must be wondering what the hell am I talking about? By super heroes I mean people whom you have looked up to throughout your childhood. People who were immortal. I am talking about people who had answers to all your questions.

One of my biggest superheroes is my father. I remember sitting on his lap only 4-5 yrs old trying to measure his biceps with my hands that bought a reassuring smile that yes he is the strongest in the world. I used to love copying his walk; the way he used to eat above all used to love wearing his clothes and wonder when will I fit into them. For some inexplicable reason he had answers to all my questions no matter how tough they might be (or at that time they were for me).

As I started to grow and started to explore the world beyond the boundaries of my house and I realized may be he is not as super as I thought he was. Please do not get me wrong here. I love him the same way as I did while measuring his biceps. I respect him and am very proud of him. But as I grew older I realized may be he is not the strongest after all, there were some unanswered questions. And what made me realize that he is as human as anyone can be was when I grew taller than him. Something snapped that day something that announced that from today onwards he was my father and not someone who could save this world if need be.
There are several other similar heroes that were once immortal and god like for me. But over time I have grown out of that perception. Though honestly, I would like to go back in time and feel the same way about the heroes (specially my dad) like I did when I was 5 years old. The sense of security I got by their presence I miss it.

I know things evolve and not everyone remains the same. As I started growing up the world started unfolding itself. It showed me several colors some nice some not so nice. I liked the idea of being independent not answerable to anyone and doing everything on my own. So I started on this journey that took me to Mumbai and then to US. Little did I realize more I experimented with myself more I will be missing my previous life. There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind one of the biggest is “How did I come this far?”

I know it’s for my own good and these are lessons of life that I should sit through. But what is the fee I am paying for this course?

Coming back to the main topic yes I do not have so many super heroes as I used to have but now I myself am a superhero for my little cousins, nephews and nieces. I would like to enjoy this phase and not break their illusion. Let them figure it out themselves.

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The uneasiness of being there for the first time……

Today I landed in Germany, my first time. Though, I think I have traveled a lot over the last two years but still I can not get over the initial feeling of uneasiness. The feeling is similar to the one that a kid gets on his first day in school when the mother leaves him inside the school gate and the gate closes. For the small boy it’s the end of world. He cries, screams kicks the gate, can do anything to get back to the world he knows. Uncertain of what lies ahead he refuses to turn around and walk inside the school until he is literally dragged inside. For him the world as he knows till now includes his house, his family and few friends he made while daily trips to the parks with his mom. And there is he suddenly somewhere he has never seen or experienced on his own (atleast initially), who does he trust, who to ask for food when he gets hungry? Who will he run to when he suddenly gets frightened by some shadow or his imagination running wild?
The same feeling has dawned on me every time I have stepped out of my house to be on my own. Be it my first day in school, college, office, Dubai, US, Mumbai, US again and now Germany. Since the time I have landed here I have been trying to get out of that feeling but with little success. If I was a kid right now I would have been kicking the door and trying to get back to where I have come from. But then I am 25 years now (ok ok let me cherish the last few hours of quarter life), I am not allowed to do that. So what do I do?? I instead sit and write all this.
And guess what is the funniest thing, whenever I go through this feeling, its not that I am missing US (cause that’s home now) but it’s the comfort of my Delhi home. I miss the sense of security you have knowing very well that there is someone you can run and hide behind in case your imagination runs wild. A murmur can bring your mom, your father in your room. And here I am in Germany where even my scream will go unheard.
But another thing I have learned over the last 2 years. This feeling is temporary, eventually the kid falls in love with his school and he no longer stares beyond the gate and think when he will go home.

Looking forward to tomorrow now :-)

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